The Magic Of Making Up Now

My ex had just answered my desperate phone call, when I realized that what I was about to say might drive her away forever. I had to say something - but what?

Only three days earlier, she had called to tell me that she wanted to end our relationship. It had struck like a bolt out of the blue. I had thought everything was reasonably all right. Was I ever more wrong! 

Okay, I had noticed her being a little distant at times, and other times being a lot more irritable than usual. But I had just given back what I got, like I had always done. She’d learn not to dump on me, I thought. But what got dumped in the end was me!

Dumped and Panicked

Since then I had flown into one panic after another. First the blood had drained from my face and my mouth got dry. Next, after she had hung up, I tried to call her back to let me come over and straighten things out. No dice, though - she had let the machine take all my calls, and probably gone to a friend’s house for the evening. 

In the next couple of days I’d called many more times, sent text messages, knocked on her door. All to no avail. I’d even haunted her usual spots, but she had been too smart for me, and spent her time elsewhere. 

Now here I was, having craftily waited a day to throw her off, then called to catch her off guard. She’d answered the phone, and now the ball was in my court. 

And I suddenly had nothing even remotely constructive to say! I was so out of my mind with fear at the thought of losing her, that anything I said was just going to be foolish, hurt my case, and really close the book for good.

Disaster - But Not The End

Yes, I was pretty much temporarily insane at that point. I could even tell I was out of control, but I kept on going. My emotional brain had taken over and I was just along for the ride. 

And now that ride was headed off a cliff. I was going to lose her forever. I couldn’t stand to think about it. I was willing to do anything to get my ex back. Except the right things. 

And what happened? Just what you’d expect. I made a fool of myself in front of her and her friends. I disturbed my neighbors’ sleep a couple of times. I totally blew it and went through over a year of misery. 

I did eventually recover and got into other relationships. But that pain still gives me a twinge sometimes. And I kept wondering, how could I have done things better?

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

The nice thing about it is that I did eventually find a better way to deal with that kind of situation. In my most recent relationship, which is still going strong after several years, almost the exact same thing happened. True to form, I was giving back what I got. I flew into a panic when the inevitable breakup came. I started to play out the same sordid tale.

But then, something new happened. By this time, I had a computer and the Internet. So I frantically cast around online for anything that might help. 

And I found something! An ebook called The Magic Of Making Up, written for precisely my problem! Seems that I was not the only one going down that road. I bought it and read it right away. And the light came on in my mind!

Taking A New Tack

First, I immediately stopped trying to get back my new ex girlfriend. I sent her a polite, mature note and then left her alone. Next, for two months I went my own way, did my own thing, added several new activities and friends, and amazingly enough, kept my cool. 

Even more amazingly, when I ran into her finally, she wanted to ask me about the interesting things she had heard, and the change that had apparently come over me. In her eyes, a very positive change. 

The long and short of it is, when I (most amazingly of all) tried playing a little hard to get, even though I truly missed her, I was able to pull it off! When I asked her if she wanted to see a movie sometime, everything took off again at high speed. Remembering it now, even though I know what I did and how it’s supposed to work, I still feel like a miracle happened. 

The Outcome

What did I learn from this? I learned how to keep my cool when my emotions are threatening to overwhelm me. I learned how to fix or avoid mistakes. In the earlier breakup, I probably could have saved that relationship. And that might have been good. I’m very happy with my current one, though, and I have no regrets. 

Just an occasional twinge when the old emotional scar gets tweaked by something. I recently found an old picture while cleaning, and I didn’t enjoy the memories that came up. Even if that relationship had not survived, it still could have ended much more peacefully and maturely. It didn’t have to leave those traces behind. I’m sure that my old ex girlfriend feels the same way.

Lucky For Me - And Whoever Takes My Hint

And I was lucky, in that I found that ebook. Not everybody does. Maybe a few have a wise friend or mentor who they’ll listen to. 

I  just know that if I had not taken the advice offered in The Magic Of Making Up, I would probably be a bitter confirmed bachelor by now, or at least a lot more cynical. I’m glad that didn’t happen. 

And that I still have my girlfriend to come home to. Actually, she has become my wife, and we’re very happy, in part thanks to my continuing use of the wisdom in that ebook.

Nobody should have to go through the panic and pain of failing to get their ex back. If you want to get hold of the powerful techniques in The Magic Of Making Up, go to the author’s site http://magicmakingupnow.com/the-magic-of-making-up/.